You're Going To Have To...Get Used To It

Last night, in another caffeine and whiskey mental muddle, I was going to write this. I was going to write this weeks ago, actually. Then I went home to visit the family, and the Berkshires with Mom and Dad, well, it's not a very rock-and-roll region, is it? Then back to L.A., but also back to the stress of being broke and unemployed and having to pay rent and car care, etc. Join that with jet lag, or allergies, or some kinda cold. And then last night, instead of writing, it was another look at Lebowski. If I were Axl Rose, I'd never get around to finishing another Guns-n-Roses album. Oh, wait.

I don't want to be Axl Rose. I don't want to live like a rock star. I want to live like a musician, albeit one with no musical ability. I just want to get into the grooves and get laid. It's that easy, that simple.

There's a difference between a rock star and a musician on 'is way up, and it's millions of dollars (That easy, that simple). A rock star needs to provide for the lifestyle, needs to feed the beast. So there's pressure. The sophomore-and-on records gotta sell. And that's the difference between Clapton in the 60s and Clapton being produced by Babyface ("If I Could Change the World" from the soundtrack to Phenomenon, which I use as an example because "Tears In Heaven" is too easily the Claptrap to hate). It's "Sweet Emotions" Aerosmith versus "Don't Wanna Miss a Thing."

I want authenticity (thankfully, Clapton and Aerosmith returned to it with rootsier recordings). Authenticity doesn't require stress and careful calculation. It's the difference between rock and pop. Pop is product versus art.

I like the Stones more than the Beatles because the Stones weren't poseurs. The Beatles put on suits and ironed their shirts and wrote hooks, and the Stones wouldn't get haircuts and wrote riffs. The Stones couldn't get played on the BBC because Mick sounded too black, and rock-and-roll is black music. The Beatles were mostly optimistic and lovey and monogamous. And the Stones painted it black and got no satisfaction.

On the soul scene, I'll take Atlantic over Motown. The Motown musicians had migrated from the South looking for work in Detroit's auto factories; they were once removed from the roots. And Motown made product; they even called themselves "Hitsville." They were so choreographed and clean, and lush. Stax was earthy and jagged. Hear "Tramp": "Otis, you a country...You straight from the Georgia woods." Motown were romantics, and Atlantic, well, peep "Tramp" again: "Ooh! I'm a lover! Huh!" Atlantic had biological imperative on its side.

So, I have the sniffles and no money, but I know one doggone thing. I'm a lover. And I'm living authentically. So why should I be stressed? I'm not living like a rock star, but I'm living a rock-and-roll life. Freedom's just another word for nothing left to lose. The same sentiment is echoed in Dylan: "When you ain't got nothin', you got nothing to lose."

I'm a complete unknown.

I recently watched Hendrix at Monterey. He did "Like A Rolling Stone," and at one point muttered ubercoolly, "Yes, I know I skipped a verse. So what?"

When I was getting on the plane to come back to LaLa Land, my father gave me a hug and quietly gave me some advice. "Sometimes you gotta say, 'Fuck it.'"

Coincidentally, I watched The Big Lebowski last night. The Dude would give me the same advice.

Some people may take this recent dive I took into rock-and-roll as a sort of midlife crisis. I think it's actually more of a way out of a lifelong crisis. There's three tenets of the rock-and-roll trinity...Fuck it. Fuck you. Fuck me, baby. I'm learning to say them all more.