Killing Chuck Klosterman to Live
I like to think I’m rock-n-roll. I just turned 34, an age that many rock icons fell short of. So, as my academic compulsions run -- yes, I think I’m a rock-n-roller, but I have academic compulsions – I decided Chuck Klosterman’s Killing Yourself to Live, an account of his tour of rock stars’ death sites, would be appropriate, and possibly entertaining or enlightening.
I was entertained, to an extent, by someone who has some similar interests to mine, namely being clever and being a rock snob of sorts. E.g., I loved the wordplay:
"Flipping back and forth on the car radio between an "'80s Retro Weekend" and an uber- conventional classic-rock station, I hear the following three songs in sequence: "Mr. Roboto," "Jumpin' Jack Flash," and a popular ballad from the defunct hair-metal band Extreme.
Well, that settles it: Styx and Stones may break my bones, but "More than Words" will never hurt me." (132)
However, Klosterman’s credibility evaporated with me when he stated that the only two long songs that classic rock stations play daily are “American Pie” and “Stairway to Heaven.” Now, I worked at a classic rock station for 5 years. I don’t remember ever playing “American Pie.” “American Pie” is one of the songs that somehow, when they divided up songs for radio formatting, that song went to Oldies. I’ve never quite figured out the formula. The Guess Who gave Oldies “These Eyes,” but “No Sugar Tonight” is classic rock. “American Woman” plays both sides. Most CCR stuff is bi-format, too. The Beatles got divided with the early stuff as oldies, and all post-Revolver albums as rock. Someone somewhere makes these decisions. Three Dog Night and America are Oldies; they lack rock clout despite being of the era, and in the light of Don McLean calling Bob Dylan “the jester” and Mick Jagger “Satan,” Classic Rock said “no, thanks.”
We did play “Stairway,” however, not that often. Even to fulfill the needs of the nightly “Get the Led Out” feature, we didn’t have to play “Stairway” that often. Zepp had plenty of other songs to pick from. Sorry to put a bustle in your hedgerow, Chuck.
In fact, I can think of a colossal number of long songs we played more often than “Stairway.” Off the top of my head (although the times were looked up):
*“Slow Ride” by Foghat (8:15) – Chuck even dissects the philosophy of this song elsewhere in the book, but overlooks it here.
*”Layla” by Derek & the Dominoes (7:07 through the piano coda) – Again, mentioned elsewhere, but forgotten on a long song list? He’s got Clapton on his knees.
*The Who’s “Won’t Get Fooled Again” (8:32) – He could’ve mentioned this one and than made a snarky comment about it being a “CSI” theme song.
*Queen’s “Bohemian Rhapsody” (5:55 – on the short side of a long song)
*George Thorogood’s “One Bourbon, One Scotch, One Beer” (all downed in 8:28)
*J. Geils Band’s live version of “Must Of Got Lost” (6 ½ minutes) – Klosterman is from the Midwest, and it’s possible that this is a Northeast thing.
*The Doors with “Riders On the Storm” (7:15) or “Light My Fire” (7:08).
*Frampton’s “Do You Feel Like We Do?” (14:15) – many a DJ saw this song as an opportunity for a B.M.
*”You Can’t Always Get What You Want” (7:28) – I want rock writers who display some knowledge of rock.
*”Free Bird” (9:10) – Klosterman had visited the Skynyrd crash site 47 pages prior, but still doesn’t remember them.
*Zeppelin’s “Kashmir” (8:28) or “When the Levee Breaks” (7:07) – And he’s a Zeppelin fan.
Klosterman talks about how every guy goes through a Zeppelin phase… Well, maybe his was limited. But that contention strikes me as false, anyhow. The closest I got to a Zeppelin phase was turning up “The Lemon Song” when I had to play it on my air shifts.
Chuck talks about his glasses at one point, and I’m betting he needs them because he is shortsighted.
He admires the Great White fans in Rhode Island for their authenticity and lack of irony or pretension. And then, in Clear Lake, Iowa, he talks about the victims of the plane crash there:
"…the Big Bopper (best known for “Chantilly Lace”), Ritchie Valens (best known for Lou Diamond Phillip’s winning portrayal in La Bamba) and Buddy Holly (best known as the precursor to Rivers Cuomo…)" (144)
His love of authenticity is brushed aside for his lust to be clever.
The previously-mentioned and momentarily-liked Styx and Stones joke doesn’t even make sense, when you look at it. It was a stretch; it feels too forced or rehearsed. It seems like something that may have been a spontaneous groaner one night by a barroom jukebox. But now, Chuck plays the three songs every time he goes into that bar, to repeat the joke. I’m guessing this, because it’s something I’d do.
That’s my biggest problem with Chuck Klosterman: he’s a little smarter than the average bear, but he writes like he’s an authority (but then again, all rock writers do); he rails against hipsterism while making sure he’s postured as a hipster; he pulls hamstrings stretching for jokes; and in the narrative, he spends too much time whining about girls. And he gets paid for it, and I don’t. I could probably do what he’s doing. I bet I could write how pieces of pop culture relate to my life.
Probably.
I was entertained, to an extent, by someone who has some similar interests to mine, namely being clever and being a rock snob of sorts. E.g., I loved the wordplay:
"Flipping back and forth on the car radio between an "'80s Retro Weekend" and an uber- conventional classic-rock station, I hear the following three songs in sequence: "Mr. Roboto," "Jumpin' Jack Flash," and a popular ballad from the defunct hair-metal band Extreme.
Well, that settles it: Styx and Stones may break my bones, but "More than Words" will never hurt me." (132)
However, Klosterman’s credibility evaporated with me when he stated that the only two long songs that classic rock stations play daily are “American Pie” and “Stairway to Heaven.” Now, I worked at a classic rock station for 5 years. I don’t remember ever playing “American Pie.” “American Pie” is one of the songs that somehow, when they divided up songs for radio formatting, that song went to Oldies. I’ve never quite figured out the formula. The Guess Who gave Oldies “These Eyes,” but “No Sugar Tonight” is classic rock. “American Woman” plays both sides. Most CCR stuff is bi-format, too. The Beatles got divided with the early stuff as oldies, and all post-Revolver albums as rock. Someone somewhere makes these decisions. Three Dog Night and America are Oldies; they lack rock clout despite being of the era, and in the light of Don McLean calling Bob Dylan “the jester” and Mick Jagger “Satan,” Classic Rock said “no, thanks.”
We did play “Stairway,” however, not that often. Even to fulfill the needs of the nightly “Get the Led Out” feature, we didn’t have to play “Stairway” that often. Zepp had plenty of other songs to pick from. Sorry to put a bustle in your hedgerow, Chuck.
In fact, I can think of a colossal number of long songs we played more often than “Stairway.” Off the top of my head (although the times were looked up):
*“Slow Ride” by Foghat (8:15) – Chuck even dissects the philosophy of this song elsewhere in the book, but overlooks it here.
*”Layla” by Derek & the Dominoes (7:07 through the piano coda) – Again, mentioned elsewhere, but forgotten on a long song list? He’s got Clapton on his knees.
*The Who’s “Won’t Get Fooled Again” (8:32) – He could’ve mentioned this one and than made a snarky comment about it being a “CSI” theme song.
*Queen’s “Bohemian Rhapsody” (5:55 – on the short side of a long song)
*George Thorogood’s “One Bourbon, One Scotch, One Beer” (all downed in 8:28)
*J. Geils Band’s live version of “Must Of Got Lost” (6 ½ minutes) – Klosterman is from the Midwest, and it’s possible that this is a Northeast thing.
*The Doors with “Riders On the Storm” (7:15) or “Light My Fire” (7:08).
*Frampton’s “Do You Feel Like We Do?” (14:15) – many a DJ saw this song as an opportunity for a B.M.
*”You Can’t Always Get What You Want” (7:28) – I want rock writers who display some knowledge of rock.
*”Free Bird” (9:10) – Klosterman had visited the Skynyrd crash site 47 pages prior, but still doesn’t remember them.
*Zeppelin’s “Kashmir” (8:28) or “When the Levee Breaks” (7:07) – And he’s a Zeppelin fan.
Klosterman talks about how every guy goes through a Zeppelin phase… Well, maybe his was limited. But that contention strikes me as false, anyhow. The closest I got to a Zeppelin phase was turning up “The Lemon Song” when I had to play it on my air shifts.
Chuck talks about his glasses at one point, and I’m betting he needs them because he is shortsighted.
He admires the Great White fans in Rhode Island for their authenticity and lack of irony or pretension. And then, in Clear Lake, Iowa, he talks about the victims of the plane crash there:
"…the Big Bopper (best known for “Chantilly Lace”), Ritchie Valens (best known for Lou Diamond Phillip’s winning portrayal in La Bamba) and Buddy Holly (best known as the precursor to Rivers Cuomo…)" (144)
His love of authenticity is brushed aside for his lust to be clever.
The previously-mentioned and momentarily-liked Styx and Stones joke doesn’t even make sense, when you look at it. It was a stretch; it feels too forced or rehearsed. It seems like something that may have been a spontaneous groaner one night by a barroom jukebox. But now, Chuck plays the three songs every time he goes into that bar, to repeat the joke. I’m guessing this, because it’s something I’d do.
That’s my biggest problem with Chuck Klosterman: he’s a little smarter than the average bear, but he writes like he’s an authority (but then again, all rock writers do); he rails against hipsterism while making sure he’s postured as a hipster; he pulls hamstrings stretching for jokes; and in the narrative, he spends too much time whining about girls. And he gets paid for it, and I don’t. I could probably do what he’s doing. I bet I could write how pieces of pop culture relate to my life.
Probably.
posted by Brian Byline at 1:29 PM
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